The old adage that only a fine line exists between love and hate is proven time and again when it comes to high-conflict divorce. Here’s a look at how we help couples navigate the split while minimizing conflict.
To judge others is to form a critical opinion about them. For example, you may decide that your neighbor down the street is an ineffective parent because she’s known to indulge her children or chooses to avoid disciplining them.
If you notice that you’re spending more time having strong opinions about others than you are thinking about your own life, you may be “copping out” and not confronting your own resolvable issues.
Consider these points:
• If you target something you dislike in others, what are the chances you can do anything about it?
• If you discover something about yourself you dislike, you can more likely use your energies to change it.
• Oprah once said, “When you know better, you do better.” If you recognize that some of your comments spring from a part of you that wants to judge, it can serve as a deterrent to your future judging behavior.
• Maybe you’re thinking about becoming friends with someone. But then, you observe them engaging in behaviors that make you feel uncomfortable. Your judgment may be telling you to avoid pursuing the friendship.
• Listen to that internal judge at times like these. Just avoid getting carried away with being too judgmental or critical of others.
You can become a vital, positive individual who focuses your efforts on constructing the life you desire. Letting go of the urge to judge others will provide you with the time and energy necessary to enhance your own life’s journey. Tune back in to your own psyche and enjoy a rich life.
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